About the Game: #Permalink to this heading

This game is inspired by a few one-shots that a friend of mine ran in 2017. The sessions he ran were based in D&D 5th Edition, which seemed a bit too cumbersome to me. I adapted the spirit of those sessions into this Powered by the Apocalypse style one-page RPG.

My goal with this game is to make a light and fast vehicle for telling a funny story with your friends. It requires a little bit of buy-in ahead of time, but it's well worth it. It's also very hackable. If you don't like fantasy, you can change the goblins into whatever you like! Just expect to die. A lot.

Preparing Goblins #Permalink to this heading

A goblin is so much more than a piece of fodder. Each one is unique, and has their own flair and personality. A goblin is made up of the following 7 characteristics:

• Name: What does the goblin call itself? You may want to add pronouns here as well, or leave that up to interpretation at the table.
• Job: What does this goblin do for a living when not out on an adventure?
• Skill: What would this goblin brag about to other goblins?
• Facial Feature: What is the first thing another goblin would notice about this one?
• Weapon: Any self-respecting goblin carries a weapon while adventuring. What does this one have?
• Attire: What is the piece of clothing that really ties this goblin's outfit together?
• Quirk: What unique experience or feature would this goblin talk about if you asked?

To make your goblin table, start a spreadsheet (ideally one multiple people can edit) and in the first cell of each column, put one of the characteristics. Share the sheet with your players and encourage them to fill in as many ideas for each of these characteristics as they can think of. You should try to aim for having at least 50 in each column, though more is always better!

If playing at a table in person, aim to have a number of characcteristics in each column that will be easy to roll for. A 100-line or 50-line table is easy to roll on with d100s for example. If you are playing via a virtual table, I recommend creating a macro to roll for all of the characteristics at once.

It's ideal to provide this well in advance of the session. Optimally, people will forget what they've added to your Goblin table by the time they play.

Playing the game #Permalink to this heading

Introduction #Permalink to this heading

Begin the session by describing, in clear terms, what the goal of the tribe's adventure is. Start with as much or as little story as you like, but less is generally more in this game. Perhaps they're invading a city to rob a heavily guarded vault in the king's castle. Maybe they're breaking in to a Wizard's tower to steal magical artifacts. Maybe they're delving into a freshly uncovered ruin, in search of a new home. Maybe they're attacking a Druid's grove to try and rescue their captured allies. Once the initial narration is settled, begin by prompting all of the players to roll their first goblin.

Rolling Goblins #Permalink to this heading

Roll from each column on the Goblin Table, or, if your MC has set up a macro, use that to roll a goblin. This is your goblin. There are many like it, so don't worry if it dies.

Performing Actions #Permalink to this heading

Goblins don't have hit points or skills. What they have is more goblins. If your goblin is attempting something with a chance (and not a certainty) of things going bad, the MC will call for a roll. If you can describe how some characteristic of your goblin would be advantageous, the MC may grant you advantage on your roll. If what you are trying to do is particularly difficult, the MC may grant disadvantage instead. If what you are doing is risky enough to have disadvantage, but your goblin has a characteristic that would help, then the disadvantage and advantage cancel out and you roll flat. You can only receive one source of advantage and one source of disadvantage per roll.

Rolling #Permalink to this heading

When the MC calls for a roll, roll 2d6 and add the result together. If you have advantage on your roll, roll 3d6 and discard the lowest die. If you have disadvantage, roll 3d6 and discard the highest die.

• On a 6 or less, your goblin fails and is dead. Describe their death and roll a new goblin.
• On a 7 to 9, your goblin succeeds at the task, but dies in the process. The MC will tell you how. Roll a new goblin.
• On a 10 or higher, your goblin accomplishes their task and doesn't die Congratulations!

The MC Section #Permalink to this heading

This isn't so much a rules section as much as it is just some advice for running a session of Goblins.

• Don't overthink it.
• Keep things light.
• Indulge in dumb jokes.
• Keep pushing players forward.
• Kill indiscriminately.
• Turn players' moves back on themselves.
• Prepare a deadly adventure, but deviate from it.
• Trust your players to be funny.
• Trust yourself to be funny.
• Don't overthink it.